To The Mouse Living In My Woodpile

My cat does not approve of you.

I think she would be less annoyed if you stopped pulling faces at her through the window. While it’s true that I don’t let her out of the house very often, she does occasionally find a door open and slip outside for a midnight run. Also, she is not one to forgive and forget. Please keep this in mind.

I left some nuts for you beneath the cedars. Please leave the bird feeder alone, and don’t chase the sparrows, as they are particular friends of mine. The squirrels too, are some of my favorites to see, but I don’t think you’ll find them too much of a bother to have around. Your nest is much too small for them to wriggle into anyway.

The dog next door may bark at the fence, but I have never seen him in my yard. You may stop worrying about him.

I do not particularly like nibbling around my doors in the middle of the night. If we are to be neighbors, I would appreciate it if you kept to the regular daytime hours for your excursions into my pantry and larder. One mouse can hardly eat me out of my own home, but I don’t like the holes. If you would like to borrow a cup of sugar or an egg, please ask.

Watch out for the owl who lives in the pine tree in the front yard. He has deprived me of many of my small neighbors, and his disposition has not improved over the years, no matter how many snacks he indulges in.

You have been warned.