A New Year

Happy New Year!

I’ve been MIA for a few weeks for the Christmas season. Life continues on even when we’re celebrating, and I’ve had to keep up momentum at work and learn to juggle the added excitement of having two families during the holiday season.

Now, I’ve finally had some time to stop and take a deep breath, and consider how I’m feeling about the new year. With so much going on, 2021 seemed to arrive impossibly fast, almost before I was ready for it.

Okay, definitely before I was ready for it.

Thankfully, New Year’s day was free, and I was able to take a step back, breathe, and spend some time in my journal, reflecting on the year that passed and the one looming ahead. 2020 was a tough year on everyone, and it’s been hard not to look forward to 2021 with dread. This year holds a lot of uncertainty, and things in my life that I very much wish were solid are still unsteady. Looking ahead, especially right now, is hard.

So instead, I took some time to look back. To remember everything that 2020 has been. The hardest bits, the places were I struggled the most, the months that felt impossible to get through. It’s confusing to look back on a year with so much bad and good intertwined in it, a year so outside of my comfort zone that even the best things felt impossibly hard because of the growth required to walk through them.

2020 challenged me in nearly every area of my life—personal, professional, and emotional. That much growth has left me feeling drained and exhausted, and when I sat down to journal, it felt like an overwhelming amount to process and release. So instead, I focused on moments.

Moments that made this year a beautiful, memorable year, even in the midst of tough circumstances. Moments like being introduced to my nephew for the first time and becoming Aunt Bea. Or going on a first date with my best friend. I drove to Missouri and to Wyoming, walked down the aisle to marry the love of my life, danced with my father at my wedding, and wrote so many stories that made my soul sing. The year has been hard, but I have a thousand snapshots within that hard year that are beautiful and that I will treasure for the rest of my life.

2021, as a year, is an intimidating prospect. It’s too much and too heavy to handle all at once.

Thankfully, a year doesn’t hit us all at once. There will be precious moments amid the difficult ones. Moments like watching my nephew learn to walk, or watching the stars with my new husband on our front porch.

2021 doesn’t have to be handled all at once. Personally, I’m planning on taking it moment by moment.

What moments from 2020 were precious to you?