Crisco Is My New Favorite

We’ve had a miracle happen in our house lately.

At least, it feels like a miracle, after months of nothing helping and Adam’s skin issues getting worse and worse no matter what.

These pictures are four days apart, y’all. Four. Days.

Look at how beautiful he is. So much less itchiness, so much more sleep. Just a happier baby.

I could cry. I might cry, actually, once I get over this cold and the full impact of this hits me.

It’s been months, y’all. Months of tears and restricted diets and allergic reactions to things I never realized could make a baby react.

Did you know avocados are related to ragweed? Because I didn’t… until my baby’s face started to swell.

That will not be one of my treasured memories, let me tell you.

But, oh, he looks amazing. The solution seems to have been a round of steroids—which I fought with all my might and finally submitted to—hypoallergenic formula, and, of all things, Crisco.

Yup. You read that right.

I’ve been putting vegetable shortening on my baby’s head.

And it’s working.

Might have to write a letter to Crisco corporate and thank them for my baby’s soft skin. No context, no explanation. Just a thank you for being the best skin care product on the planet.

Let them try to figure that one out.

Oddly enough, the Crisco on his skin wasn’t my idea. My pediatrician recommended it. I wish I had a picture of my face when she told me, “You know, why don’t you pick up a can of Crisco on the way home?”

Blink, blink.

She even told me I could go with the generic brand instead of Crisco, but I figured, if we’re putting shortening on my child’s head, it might as well be the best.

Joking aside, it, in combination with the other things, have made my boy very happy. And we’re sleeping more than half an hour at a time at night, so Crisco corporate deserves, like, a bouquet of fried chicken or something.

Maybe home-fried donuts.

I’ll have to think about it.